I want to make a few quick clarifications about LAST POST.  Not because anyone said anything; I just didn’t say what I wanted to.  Sometimes when I’m trying to multi-task I forget to push the “ON” button in my brain…

I was asked what I want for Christmas…. and I gave some pricier things, like Kate Spade china and Loeffler Randall boots.  These are the things I ask my parents for, who have a couple extra pennies to spend.  Because I haven’t been successful in secretly putting my mortgage in their name so they’ll secretly pay for it, I ask for nicer things from them and they are very generous.

Things that I ask for from other family members might be flavored coffees, any dessert-flavored bath products, lip glosses, and paperback chick lit books.

I was asked about taking cold medicine and coffee for running…  I’ve dealt with addiction, abuse, and rehab in my own family so I probably take the issue of drugs a little more seriously than most.  And while I may joke about celebrities and their recreational drug habits (ahem, CocaineKate Moss and Lindsey Blowhan) I in no way think drug use is something funny.  BUT, I don’t think the commenter was suggesting a blogger meet up to go get hopped up on Benadryl and then run laps at the track.  Because doi, she should know I don’t run on tracks… SOOOO boring.

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Yo momma’s so old her birth certificate is expired.
Yo momma’s so old I looked in her year book and saw Jesus.

Yo momma’s so old Jurassic Park brought back memories.
Yo momma’s so old one of her pets was on on Noah’s Ark.
Yo momma’s so old her social security number is 1.

Yo momma’s so old she called the cops when David and Goliath started to fight.
Yo momma’s so old she dated Moses.

Yo momma’s so old she has an autographed Bible.
Yo momma’s so old she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
Yo momma’s so old she went to an antiques auction and three people bid on her.

Yo momma’s so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo momma’s so old she DJ’d at the Boston Tea Party.
Yo momma’s so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo momma’s so old vultures constantly circle her house.
Yo momma’s so old when Moses parted the Red Sea he found her fishing on the other side.
Yo momma’s so old you put her in a museum instead of an old folks home.

It’s my 27th birthday; I’m old.